Surrender versus Apathy

This one is a tricky one. On the outside they look similar, which leads me to the understanding that it truly is an internal choice.

Apathy is defined (by me) as giving up on something. Convincing ourselves that we don’t want it anymore. Hardening our hearts to the possibility that what we desire could ever be for us. It’s throwing in the towel, raising our hands and our eyes skywards and flopping down on the couch to scroll on our phones instead. It’s allowing our dreams to die before we even try. It’s settling for far less than we deserve while convincing ourselves that this is the best it’s ever going to get. Apathy is dangerous because it’s comfortable, and once we settle into comfort it's very difficult to fight our way out.

Surrender, on the other hand, is grit. Determination. Defiance. It’s allowing ourselves to stoke the fires of what we want and lay claim to the prize at the end of the race. It’s focusing in, harnessing our energy and getting ready for the shotgun to sound.

And then, surrender is letting it all go.

Surrender is saying to the Universe, this is what I want SO badly; this is what I’m willing to fight for, to sacrifice for, to die for. And yet, I am only human and this may not be the best for me.

Surrender is saying, Your will, not mine, while allowing our hot tears to stream down our faces at the weight of sacrifice. Surrender is willingly letting go of all that we want in case it is not all that we need. It is not giving up. It is not refusing to race. It is not getting comfortable or quitting while we’re ahead. It’s fighting harder and truer, and yet accepting that when we reach that finish line, things may not look the way we think they should - and we will still trust the process.

Surrender is dirty and messy and raw and powerful. I heard an analogy once, that we should hold the things we want like a baby bird in our hands: just tightly enough to protect it from falling out, but not so tightly that we squeeze the life out of it. Surrender is supplication to God/the Universe/our higher selves that we don’t know as much as we think we know, but with what we do know, we are certain about what we want.

Surrender is maddening and ego-destroying and wildly liberating. If you want something, let it go. This is Love at it's truest.

❤️✌️🔥